KuroFai Fanfiction - Tidal wave
by TheMoonShallDiee
Summary: Fai will do everything to get his brother from the hospital, meeting Kurogane seems so minor at the time. But in the end he is the only thing that keeps Fai alive. KuroganeXFai
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all! I will put some info and standard warnings here, so you can just enjoy the fanfiction~**

**This fanfiction will have 8 chapters and an epilogue, I will update it once a day until this Saturday (10 Aug.) And then I will be gone until the 16th of Augustus. From there I will upload once a day again. **

**This fic contains: Sex between two males, self harm, and strong language.**

**You can always message me for questions or other things, Enjoy the story! :D**

I closed the door behind me after letting out a client and sighed, I looked at the old fashioned piggy bank on my closet. At least I'm a little bit closer now, to saving my brother from death.

I sat down on my couch, two people a day was my maximum. I couldn't handle three. Maybe someday.

I'm Fai d fluorite. A gay, male whore.

I became a whore when I needed money the most. To be able to pay the treatment for my deadly sick twin brother. That I'm gay doesn't really have to do with it, except that all my clients are men.

I attend high school and try to keep my grades up as much I can. I have a few good friends. But they don't know about my job. I stood up reculantly and went to the room where I spend a lot of hours a day being a male slut. It was horrible, but for my brother I would do everything. I took off the red (yes, red) Bedding that was soaked with sweat and semen and threw it in the washer while refreshing it and leaving the room hoping tomorrows clients would have a dick less big than this one. I walked to my own bedroom and fell asleep with my clothes on.

'There will be a new student joining our class today' I looked at my teacher uninterested, not bothering to be curious about it. Watanuki looked at me and smiled ' I hope he or she is nice' Then he turned to the teacher again. I knew Watanuki secretly had a relationship with Doumeki. He didn't tell anyone. But I noticed little things in their behavior together. Even if they seemed to hate each other. I have the feeling Watanuki is long no virgin anymore.

The door opened slowly.

'Oh, there he is.'

Walking inside the classroom was a very handsome guy, black spikey hair combed back. A few little strokes escaped the gel and hung in his face. He was a little tinted, my eyes locked on his for a second, when he looked my way. His irises were blood red, surrounded by heavy eyelashes. He looked away and revealed his teeth for a second, they were very white. And his canines were slightly bigger than average. His lips looked very soft.

'This is Kurogane, welcome him with open arms. You can sit next to Fai over there for now'

He walked to his desk and sat down next to me. Our legs touched each other for a second, and a little electric shock shot through my leg and I pulled it away fastly.

I looked up at Kurogane his face and saw his eyes looking down at me. I recovered myself and smiled brightly at him. 'Hello I'm Fai, nice to meet you!' I stuck out my hand and waited for him to shake it.

He reculantly shook my hand and grumbled something like: 'Kurogane' Before pulling his hand away like he just heard that shaking my hand is deadly. I chuckled and turned to the teacher that had finally managed to calm the class down.

'Fai! I got an A for my math test!' Syoaran cheerfully told me when we were sitting around in the classroom after school. Watanuki and Doumeki joined us too. I picked up my paper to look what I had. My heart felt like it just sank down into my stomach when I saw the zero.

'Fuck.' I said while kicking the table. I didn't have enough time to learn because I was so tired lately. I was afraid I was pushing my body to the limit.

Syoaran looked concerned 'It'll be okay Fai.. You can redo this test.' I smiled. 'You're right.'

I sighed and looked on the clock. 'I gotta get going~' I waved at everyone and walked outside the school. I saw Kurogane smoking a cigarette next to his bicycle. I walked up to him and saw him glaring at me. 'You shouldn't smoke~! It's bad for you Kuro-pu-pu ' I decided nicknames were good.

'What did you call me..' The anger on his face was rather amusing. 'Kuro-pupu ' I grinned and ran away before he could slaughter me.

When I arrived at home I undressed myself and put on a shirt that was so big that it could function as a dress. Without underwear of course, and tried to do some homework until I heard the doorbell ring. I opened the door and smiled at my client. He was very handsome, I wondered why he would pay to have sex with someone when he could probably just pick someone up from the street easily. But I let it go and he put the money on the table. Fifty per hour. I smiled and led him to the room with the big bed and sat down before hands pushed me down and screwed me up until it was finally over.

'Your grades are getting worse Fai, is there a reason for that?' The teacher had held me in class after school to talk to me. I didn't know how to answer so I didn't say anything.

'Is it because of your brother?' I wanted to answer but then I saw Kurogane standing in the door opening of the classroom and grabbed my bag before rushing out of the classroom.

My arm touched Kurogane's arm. And it gave off that electric wave again. I walked to my locker and grabbed my jacket out of it. I heard footsteps behind me and turned around, Kurogane was standing there.

'..Hey' I smiled at the handsome boy, and felt the sudden urge to kiss him.

'You okay?' He looked at me, hands in his pockets. His uniform was a little too loose on him, but it looked good. Then I noticed he was even taller than I was. While I was already taller than most of people in this school. He seemed uncomfortable having to show some concern.

'Yeah, of course.' I smiled brightly and waved at him. 'I gotta go now, uhm, later !'

I looked at the clock, it was pretty late. But I didn't want to sleep. Even though I was dead tired. I was counting the money I had earned. Almost enough to get the treatment for my brother.. I hoped It wouldn't be too late. I suddenly felt sick and decided to go to sleep.

_'__I know your secret Fai.. the true face behind that well build mask of yours.' Kurogane threw me against the wall. And before I knew what was going on I felt soft lips pressed unto mine. I tried to struggle but gave in anyway. 'Would you ask for money if I raped you.. whore?' My eyes widened and I tried to get away from the grinning face that was suddenly changing and shifting into that of my brother. 'You don't have to do this for me Fai! Just let me die and live in piece okay?' I wanted to answer but the ground disappeared under my feet and I fell and fell. The ground was coming closer and closer and closer…._

'AHHHH'I opened my eyes and noticed I was on the ground. A nightmare.. I sat up and looked at my pajama, wet from all the sweat. I grunted and slowly stood up while looking at my clock, I had to hurry to get on time. It was cold outside, and inside my apartment as well. I shivered and walked to the bathroom to change into my school uniform when suddenly I felt very dizzy, I fell against the wall and tried to keep myself standing. Then my head started pounding and my stomach turned around. I wanted to stay home and sleep, but I couldn't miss school.

So later after taking pills I was on my way to school. The pills did help, but I forgot extra and I was afraid it was going to return. I think I finally pushed my body to the limit. I guess it isn't okay to go to school, have sex two times and make your homework every day. I chuckled and arrived at school.

I noticed I was late and began running to my classroom.

'You are late, mister.' I mumbled sorry and sat down next to Kurogane. Trying not to think of the dream I had too much.

'You look sick, idiot.' I turned my head to the side and smiled. 'I'm not sick' He raised one eyebrow at me and looked at the blackboard again. During the day I felt myself getting worse and worse. The pills were wearing off and my sickness got worse. I sat down next to Kurogane again after lunch break. He looked at me with narrowed eyes. 'You really need to go home.'

I shook my head and smiled. 'I'm fine, really.' I looked at my teacher and wondered why there were two of him. I looked down at my hand and noticed it was shaking, I coughed once, then twice, then it became worse and vaguely noticed the class staring at me. Then I felt something warm on my hand. I took a second to realize I coughed up blood and looked up. Why was I on the ground? My head began throbbing and hurting and at the same time my stomach ached. I heard myself scream, my vision slowly turned black mixed with red. I couldn't breathe, I heard myself pant, trying to talk, trying to say I couldn't breathe. I was rolled over on my back by someone. So much pain, everywhere. Then I felt soft lips on mine, I tried to see who it was. And felt air being forced through my lungs.

Then I felt people pulling at me, it hurt so much. I screamed again. And everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

I felt warmth. No, heat. It was hot. I opened my eyes slowly. And my ears popped. Then I heard a monitor beeping and heavy breathing next to me. I came to the conclusion was in a hospital. I turned my head and took a moment to realize the person sleeping in the chair next to the bed was Kurogane. Why was he here..? The next thing that popped up in my head was that I missed two clients. I looked at Kurogane's sleeping face, he looked so innocent when asleep. I tried to remember what happened, but nothing came to mind but pain. Speaking about pain, my whole body hurt.

Kurogane woke up and yawned, then saw me awake and grunted. He pushed a button next to the bed. 'You're finally awake, you sure know how to be a drama-queen.'

I laughed, then realized it hurt to laugh and stopped. 'I guess so huh.' Kurogane stood up.

'I'm leaving'

'See you then ' I smiled and waved him out.

A nurse came in and smiled at me. 'Is that boy your friend? He was here as long as you were unconscious. He sat there for ten hours straight!' My eyes widened, I wish I could chase Kurogane. I wish I could pull him in a hug. He sat here for ten hours, to look over me. I blushed red when I realized the lips that were pressed on mine to save me were probably his.

'..Do you like him?' The nurse winked at me and I smiled. 'I don't know.' She checked the monitor next to me while I answered. 'He seemed to like you.' I laughed, and realized it hurt again. 'I don't think so.' I looked at the sealing and thought of Kurogane, did I like him?

'You have to take it easy coming month, you have to return here every week for a check-up. And you may not do these things until we consider you healed completely.' The doctor gave me a list of things I couldn't do or eat. My eyes widened at the thing that said: "sexual actions"

'Uhm, sir, what exactly do you mean with "sexual actions?"' The doctor smiled at me. 'Kissing is okay, as long as you don't really have sex.'

'Gay sex included?' The doctor laughed. 'Yes, gay sex included.'

I nodded and waited for the doctor to leave before letting a tear roll down my face. I can't believe this.. I couldn't earn any money for a whole month! It might just be way too late by then…

I have to find a way to solve this..

'FAI!' Syoaran hugged me when he saw me and I smiled. 'Hey Syoa ' He let go of me and I patted his head. 'What happened? Are you okay now? How are you?' Watanuki and Doumeki were standing next to Syoaran now too. 'I overworked myself, And I'm fine now' I laughed at everyone's concerned faces. 'Don't be so worried about me.' Syoaran pouted at me. 'You're my friend Fai, of course I am worried about you.' I smiled and saw Kurogane walking in the direction of the classroom. I ran after him 'Kuro-puu !' Kurogane looked around and sighed. 'Stop calling me names goddamnit!' I came to still stand in front of him and almost fell over my own feet. He silently placed a hand on my shoulder, it was a little thing. But another electric wave was sent through me. I felt my face heat up and stuttered my next words out. 'T-thanks for.. Uhm.. you know.' I felt quite uncomfortable, which was something new since I never really was.

I saw Kurogane's mouth hooks went slightly up. And I took it as a smile. 'Shut up, blonde.'

And from that moment on, I guess we were officially friends. Or at least, Kurogane always sat with us in lunch break. And we made assignments together.

Though that didn't take away the fact I couldn't earn money for my brother. I had weighed off the chances of what could happen if I would ignore the doctors restrictions, and decided the only thing I could do is wait while trying to earn some money with chores and such.

'We have to do the assignment at home, Kuro-puu.. We're not going to make it before the deadline otherwise.' I turned my computer screen to show the document to Kurogane while we were sitting in the computer room. He sighed and nodded. 'That would be the best.' He grumbled and grabbed the mouse to scroll down the document. While doing that his hand touched mine, the electric wave had turned into a pleasurable feeling over the times we accidently touched. It became a sort of tinkling feeling, that found a way to warm my heart every time.

I was afraid that I was falling for him, afraid because I was afraid to get close to anyone. Let alone love them. Something will happen to them either way, or they'll leave me..

I tried to suppress the feeling as much as possible.

I heard the bell ring and stood up from the chair after saving everything.

I opened my front door and let Kurogane in, he looked around and when I had grabbed my laptop and threw a bottle of liquor towards him knowing he would catch it.

'You live alone?' I paused in what I was doing for a second. 'Yeah, it's quite relaxed' I laughed and sat down on the couch. 'What happened to your parents?' Kurogane sat down next to me and sipped out of the bottle. 'They died, a long time ago.' I grabbed the bottle from him and took a sip too. 'And your brother?' I clenched my teeth, and put on a forced smile. 'In the hospital.'

I grabbed my laptop and hoped he wouldn't ask more. 'Well, I ain't gonna pity you.' I smiled, that's what I loved most about him. I mean.. I, oh fuck it. 'I know.'

The doorbell rang and I wondered who it could be, I mailed all my clients about my.. Problem.

I stood up and walked to the door to open it. 'Who could it be-' I gasped when the last client I had stood on my porch. 'H-hey.. Uhm, you know I'm not..' The man smiled. His handsomeness still amazed me. 'I know about your problem, but I forgot my socks here the last time I came. So I came to pick them up.' I chuckled, he came all the way to here for his socks? 'I'll get them for you' I walked to the bedroom and picked up his socks. I walked back and gave them to him, 'Here you go.'

'Thank you.' He threw the socks on the ground and grabbed a hand of my hair and threw me against the wall. 'Your pretty face isn't going to save your brother. With your golden blonde hair and fluorite blue eyes. Everyone melts when looking at you. And you sell it like that, for fucking money.' His hand was now around my neck, and I gasped, trying to get his hand off me. 'I.. have to..' I had no air left to finish my sentence. 'SHUT UP.'

Kurogane rushed into the hall and froze at the scenery. 'What the hell!?'

'I thought you weren't taking any clients?' The man smirked and licked my lips. I shivered and tried to kick him. 'I felt his hand under my shirt and my sight went blurry because of the lack of air.

I heard Kurogane grunt and suddenly the hands were gone. I slumped to the ground, and when the spots in all kind of colors were gone from my sight I saw Kurogane on top of the man fighting him. I wiped away the saliva from my lips and wanted to get up to help. But I fell back down.

'Stay there' Kurogane growled and knocked the man unconscious.

I clapped and smiled. 'You're awesome Kuro-sama ' Kurogane growled and shoved the unconscious man outside before slamming the door shut and moved to me swiftly, he slapped me in the face. 'Now speak up. Who the fuck was he, and why was he raping you? And what. The. Freaking. Fuck. Is. That.' He pointed at the red room. My smile slowly disappeared from my face and I knew I had to tell. I sighed and stood up. 'I'm a whore.' Kurogane raised one eyebrow. 'You mean..'

'Yes. I fuck guys for money.' I crossed my arms and looked at the wall rather than Kurogane. I didn't want to see his expression of disgust.

'But, how can you still be short on money then?' It was a normal response. Like being a whore was normal. I looked up in surprise. Kurogane looked at me normally. I sighed, 'It's for my brother.' I vaguely waved at the piggybank. 'He has a disease that the insurances don't want to cover. And since our parents are dead I'm trying to get the money together to get him cured, before it's too late.'

'You can't have sex now.' I glared at Kurogane. 'I know.' I sat down on the couch and let my head rest in my hands. 'I don't know what to do, It might be too late when I'm cured..' It felt so good to get this off my chest. Kurogane was silent for a moment and then said: 'I'll pay the rest for you.' I laughed. 'That's around 1000. Kuro-puu. That's what I earn in a month.'

'Well, I have that amount. You can pay it back later.' My eyes widened. 'You must be kidding me?'

'Do I look like I'm joking?' I jumped up from the couch and practically jumped on Kurogane, Hugging him. 'Oi! Get off.'


	3. Chapter 3

'Brother!' I walked to the hospital bed and Yuui turned his head to look at me. 'Hello Fai' He coughed and smiled at me. 'I finally have the money for the surgery!' Yuui's face lit up. 'Really!? How?' I laughed. 'It isn't important. Tomorrow you'll have the surgery!' I sat down at the bedside of my brother and smiled at me. 'You'll be home again before you know it!' I grabbed the hand of my brother and kissed him on the forehead. When I looked at him I saw myself, we looked exactly like each other, the only thing was that Yuui looked sicker. Way sicker. But his golden blonde hair was the same as mine, so were his eyes. And his pale skin. Slender and tall body, now even skinnier because of the illness.

I loved my brother more than life itself.

I slept in the hospital that night.

'Kurogane..' It was meant to be a word, but it came out of my mouth as something that sounded like a moan. His hands ran over my chest, he was roughly taking every inch of my body to make it his. He smirked, 'I knew it.' I didn't have the energy to ask what it was that he knew and pressed myself against the strong body. Trying to get closer to him. 'Say my name again.' He demanded, I didn't want to obey, having my pride in the back of my head. But couldn't help it. 'K-kurogane!'

'Oi, wake up.' I slowly opened my eyes to see Kurogane standing in front of me. I blushed, what was he doing in the hospital?

'You were saying my name.' Kurogane looked annoyed, but somewhere in his posture I could spot some satisfaction. 'I dreamt you were fishing on a huge boat!' I said, making something up.

'Yeah, since when do you moan while fishing?'

I flushed bright red, shit.

I rushed to stand up and walk past Kurogane, but he grabbed my arm before I could get away.

'What were you dreaming?' I laughed nervously and looked around for a way to change the subject.

'Fai..? Who is that?' The sleepy voice of my brother came from the bed and I grabbed the opportunity with both hands. 'Yuui! Did you sleep well? You didn't get worse did you?' I rushed to the bed and put my hand on Yuui his forehead. He laughed, 'I'm okay Fai.' I laughed.

'This is Kuro-puu! He's a friend of mine.'

'The name is KUROGANE! Dumbass.' I laughed and patted on Kurogane's shoulder, I stopped with it quickly after remembering my dream. And how good his touch felt. I flushed red and stepped away from the black haired guy a little.

Then the doctor came in. 'Your surgery will take place in a few moments, we are going to prepare you now. I have to ask your brother and his friend to step out of the room and wait in the waiting room next to the surgery room.' I walked to my brother and let my lips brush over his. 'I love you, brother. Everything will be okay.' A tear dripped on Yuui's face. And I wiped my tears away quickly. 'I love you too my dear Fai. I will always. Wherever I may be.' He wiped away a tear on my face and I stepped out of the room followed by Kurogane.

The waiting was hell, Kurogane got so annoyed by my nervous behavior that at some point he pulled me on a chair and asked some tape from the nurses to tape me to the chair.

I looked at the clock, it was a long surgery, the sky was red as flames, getting darker and darker. I had managed to get the tape off and sat next to Kurogane on the little couch. I was too tired to bounce or be nervous. And wondered when the surgery was finally going to be done..

At last the door opened and the doctor came out. I rushed up and was half ready to run inside the surgery room to embrace my brother. When the doctor put an hand on my shoulder.

'Son.. We have some bad news for you.' My heart sank down into my shoes, I didn't want to hear. I really didn't..

'Your brother, didn't make it through the surgery.'

It felt like my world fell apart, as if I broke mirror and all the shards of glass rained upon me. It couldn't be. I can't be.. I fell to my knees, my face had frozen in shock.

'He can't be dead, he can't..' tears streamed down my face as I gripped my fist. It felt empty inside. There was nothing but emptiness and pain. So much pain.

'Why.. Why did the illness take him away from me.. he never did wrong.. He can't. I..' I cried there, on my knees, on the floor. Not able to do anything at all.

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!' I screamed and buried my face in my hands. My brother.. My life.. My heroine.. Gone.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and recognized Kurogane's energy through all the gray. He kneeled next to me and grabbed my hands, then I noticed I was pressing my fist so hard my nails had made wounds In the palm of my hand. I looked up to look at Kurogane, but only saw a blur of his face.

I felt a hand on my face, but turned my head away. I just wanted to disappear, go to my brother. Just.. leave.. Fall unconscious and not wake up.. I started scratching my arm with my nail before I even noticed I did, I hadn't done self-harm for a long time anymore. But who gives a shit anyway?

'He needs to calm down.' I heard the doctor talk vaguely. But I didn't really care, I just wanted to leave. I started tracing the artery on my arm. And heard Kurogane growl something before I felt something in my arm and fell unconscious.

I woke up and felt pain, my whole body hurt. And I remembered.. My brother. I had no energy to cry, nor feel anything at all.

I turned my head and saw Kurogane sitting on the chair next to the hospital bed.

I looked at my arms, they were bandaged. I still had blood stains on my fingers. I didn't notice I was scratching this deep. 'Kuro.. gane…' He looked up, surprised I said his full name.

'I.. I..' I couldn't finish and tears started rolling down my face again. I turned my face away from the other guy. I didn't want him to see me cry.

'Idiot.' Kurogane's voice was heavier than usual, like he had cried too. But that couldn't be. So I assumed he caught a cold.

'I'm.. sorry.' I looked at the sealing, I didn't know what now. My brother had been my life, I didn't know how to get through the days. 'Please.. Hold my hand.' I needed something, someone. To make sure I was still real. That there was something real and warm.

Kurogane sighed and stood up to sit at the side of my bed, he slipped his warm hand into my ice cold one. It felt good holding his hand like this. I cracked a smile through all the pain and closed my eyes. Feeling only the hand that kept me from slipping away in the dark and cold pain.

The following days were the worst of my life, I had to stay in the hospital. And they kicked Kurogane out because he should be in school. I was all alone in there and yearned for someone to talk to, someone who could hold me. I yearned for Kurogane every second he wasn't with me. And I knew that no matter how horrible the situation was. How much I hated myself for it. I had fallen in love with him. I wanted him, all of him. Mind and body. And on the same time I was afraid. So afraid he would leave me too.

I hated the hospital room and wanted to go home, find something sharp to help to reduce the pain. In this room there's not even a nail clipper that's sharp enough to cut with.

The doctor came in and pulled me out of my thoughts. 'You can go home tomorrow, we arranged a physiologist for you. Here's your pass, the rest of the information is on her site.' I nodded and took the pass. 'Furthermore, please do not harm yourself son.' I lowered my eyes and nodded knowing he couldn't stop me from doing so.


	4. Chapter 4

The following days were bad, I cried, slept, cried some more and cut. And after a few days I decided I had to put something long sleeved on and go to school, the teacher had told what happened to the class and of course it was a hell. The only thing that really got me through the day other than my friends acting like nothing happened because they knew I liked it that way. Was kurogane, his presence seemed to fill a part of me that was always empty. A space in my heart, a place of loneliness, which, when I'm with him. Feels less empty, feels warmer.

Though, my body looked horrible, it did. My legs and arms looked terrible. I didn't attend gym class because of it, and used the fact I still wasn't cured from the pressure on my body yet as an excuse. The sessions with the Physiologist did help a little, but not to the extent that I could function properly. Though I admitted it got a little out of hand, when I passed out from blood loss. I did wake up later, but It couldn't make me stop.

People wonder, why would you cut?

I can tell you that.

It's about the pain inside you. The pain you can't cure with balsam, or bandages. It hurts so much, but It feels like it'll never stop. I cut to translate my pain inside into wounds on my body. To make it real. The pain inside goes away for a while then, becoming pain on your body. Pain that is tangible.. That is outside, in the world. That's the pain I think is better, it's the kind of pain that can actually heal. And why I can't stop? Cutting Is addictive, just like alcohol or cigarettes. It gives satisfaction. I get filled with satisfaction when I see my own blood. I can't just stop.. What would make this worse than alcohol or cigarettes? You are in all three cases, slowly killing yourself.

'Fai.. Why are you wearing your vest? It's really hot!' Syoaran looked at me when we were sitting at our lunch table.

'Ah, I'm just always cold' I laughed and Ignored the looks of disbelief, though I knew they wouldn't suspect a thing. Except Kurogane. He was suspicious all the time. Every morning he glared at my long sleeves and fake smiles.

We were alone in the classroom when the rest had gone off to P.E.

'Aren't you going to attend Gym class?' Kurogane nodded and I wondered why, he loved gym class. He finally got to show off his skills. I smiled and sat down at my desk, 'Why?'

'I could ask you the same thing, blonde.' I laughed.

'You know I can't sport, the doctor said so.' I tried to hide my nervousness behind a smile and grabbed my sleeve to pull it down further.

I knew Kurogane wouldn't fall for my façade, he was the only person who looked right through it. It was like being naked. Kurogane looked at me with narrowed eyes and walked to me. He reached for my arm and I acted in reflex and shove backwards in my chair. Kurogane's arms were so long I fell backwards in order to dodge his hand trying to grab my arm. I landed on the ground hard and wanted to stand up when I felt something holding me down. It was Kurogane, he was hanging over me, leaning on his hands. Placed next to my head. He quickly grabbed my arm leaning somewhat backwards. I tried my hardest to get loose, but Kurogane was stronger. And I was very weak because of my constant blood loss. Kurogane rolled up my sleeve and took of the bandage. I pressed my eyes shut and heard his slight gasp. I opened my eyes and looked at his face, it showed no expression at all. Not a slight hint of feeling. My eyes traced back to my arm too. God it looked awful.. I opened my mouth to say something but Kurogane stood up and walked to the door of the classroom and locking it. 'What are you doing?' My voice quavered, I saw him closing the curtains in front of the windows.

'Undress.' He ordered. My eyebrows rose and I laughed, then I saw his expression. He looked angrier than he had ever looked. The words were stuck in my throat and I took off my vest and blouse. Followed by my pants, I knew he was dead serious. I left my underwear on.

Kurogane walked towards me and his eyes fell on my legs, arms and chest. I gulped and he looked up in my eyes. The fury in his eyes was frightening.

'You piece of shit.' His words hurt me, more than any words ever did. I wanted to be loved by him, not hated. I loved him.

The look on his face was pained. Was it my fault?

'I'm.. Sorry..' I stumbled over my words and felt tears well up in my eyes, but bit my lip to keep them inside.

'I don't want your fucking sorry. I want you to STOP THE FUCKING CUTTING!'

He screamed and I whimpered, the fire in his eyes touched me. Set me to fire.

'But.. I'm addicted! I can't just stop!' Kurogane growled and stomped to the teacher's desk.

'Fine, then I'll follow after you.' He growled and grabbed a Stanley knife. My eyes widened when he rolled up his sleeve and held the knife above his skin.

'NO!' I ran towards him and wanted to keep him from it. I won't allow him to get hurt.

'Then stop cutting!' he yelled and I really cried now. 'I CAN'T!' He put the knife against his skin and a little red drop of blood appeared.

'Stop! Please!' I cried and tried to reach his arm which he held above his head.

'You know my terms!' He slowly made a cut in his arm, and it felt as if he was cutting right in my heart. I slumped to my knees and gripped his pants, resting my head against his leg.

'PLEASE STOP! I'LL STOP CUTTING! I promise.. I promise.. I PROMISE! OKAY!? Just stop..' My voice got stuck in in my throat and sobs replaced it. His arms lowered and he threw the knife in the desk of the teacher. 'Kurogane.. Please don't hurt yourself! It feels like you're cutting me instead of yourself.. Please..' I heard kurogane sigh.

'Do you understand how it feels for me to look at your arms and legs now?'

I looked up at his face, eyes wide open and realization struck me. So that's why..

'Kurogane.. I'll stop, I promise! I.. I..' I stood up and looked in Kurogane's eyes. My sight was blurry from the tears, but I saw the satisfaction in his eyes.

'I.. I love you.' I wanted to kill myself, I wanted to take the words back. I turned away from Kurogane's shocked face and picked my clothes up and put them on in a rush. I can't believe I said that.

It was silent for a while, when Kurogane walked towards me and turned me around so I was facing him. He leaned towards me until our lips were just mere inches apart. I felt his breath on my lips and I tried to figure out what was happening, because my brain had gone numb.

'Stupid blonde.' Kurogane pressed his lips on mine and grabbed my waist to pull me closer to him. My eyes fluttered shut and I wrapped my arms around Kurogane's neck. The pleasure rushing through me at his touch, at his lips. It wasn't like any kiss I ever had, it was amazing. The battle of dominance between us lasted a while, but at the feeling of him I got so numb in my body I didn't have much strength left to lead the kiss. Kurogane pulled back for air and I was slightly panting. I didn't want him to let me go, I wanted him to pull me close.

Kurogane grumbled: 'I love you too.' While awkwardly shifting on his feet. I smiled bright and felt warmth rushing through my body, the kind of warmth I haven't felt since before my brother fell sick. I let my head rest on Kurogane's chest and felt his chin leaning on my head.

I wanted to stay like this forever, but unfortunately the door swung open and Watanuki and Doumeki walked in, they were probably the first that were done with changing their clothes. I was very glad I had put on my clothes again, otherwise this would be even more awkward. Watanuki and Doumeki were standing in the door opening. We jumped out of each other's arms and I laughed. 'Big Kuro-puu needed a hug!' Kurogane growled and grabbed a book to throw at my head. When Watanuki hugged Kurogane. 'Well, then I will give Kurogane a hug too I guess!' I smiled and sat down at my desk.

The rest of the class came in and Kurogane sat down next to me. The last hour of school started. I grabbed my math book and opened it with a sigh, I hated math. And still had to get my grades up, I looked at the big 1 written on my last math test that was still between the pages of my book. I glanced at Kurogane's, a huge 10 was written on his paper with green pen. Then I looked up at his face, he was looking at my paper and I smiled sadly. He frowned and he grabbed my paper.

'You didn't learn for the test at all. Did you?' I sighed and looked at the test.

'I didn't have the time to..' I fell silent and grabbed the goddamn paper out of his hand and stuffed it inside my bag.

I heard Kurogane sigh and put in the ear buds from my IPod, since I wasn't going to attempt on paying attention anyway.

_Tidal wave_ from _Owl City _washed my brain blank and left me listening to the song. After a while I noticed that my left bud was pulled out and my head swung to the left. I saw Kurogane putting in the ear bud. I chuckled and saw his face soften. 'Owl City fan hah?' I nodded. I have been fan of them for as long as I can remember. 'You have good taste' I blushed slightly. And moved my hand towards Kurogane's hand until the sides of our hands touched. It was warm and comfortable. I saw Kurogane's mouth corners tug up slightly, and suppressed the urge to lean against him.

'Can I come over today?' Kurogane asked and I felt my face lit up.

'Of course ' I said cheerfully, being glad I didn't have to spend my afternoon alone.

Kurogane smirked, I looked at his lips, if you look closer you can see that they are redder than you would think at the first encounter. His smirk grew even wider when he caught me staring. I felt my cheeks heat up and looked away hoping that Kurogane wouldn't notice it. But that was false hope since I knew he saw it. He saw everything.

The teacher finally shut up and let us leave. I said my goodbyes to my friends and Kurogane followed me outside. I grabbed my bicycle and watched him grab his.


	5. Chapter 5

We sat on the couch watching TV as Kurogane zapped through the channels. It didn't really seem to interest him what it displayed. I satisfied myself with looking at Kurogane, letting my eyes glide over all the simple features of his face and neck. He had noticed me staring a while ago already but ignored it. Now he finally had enough and turned his head to me while putting down the remote.

'Why are you staring?' He snapped me out of my gaze and my face heated up again.

'Uh..' I fell silent. There was no excuse. '..You're beautiful..' I spoke softly, but enough for him to hear. Kurogane looked surprised, his eyes met mine. Then he chuckled in amusement.

I smiled, a track of blush still visible on my face. I watched him lean closer to me and my heart began to pound harder.

He placed one hand in my neck and smirked at me, practically on top of me now. Pushing me back into the couch. 'So, I'm beautiful?'

He began trailing kisses down my neck, and the soft lips send shivers of pleasure through my body, and I bit my lips to keep in the soft moans threatening to leave my mouth.

I hoped with all my heart he wouldn't find my weak spot. I'm overly sensitive.

Kurogane smirked and bit my neck, realizing his intentions, I reculantly pushed him off me.

'We can't go further than kissing.' I said sadly, lust probably hearable in my voice.

Kurogane sighed, 'I know, I'm sorry. I'll wait patiently' Kurogane looked at my rather flustered face.

'If you stop being so sexy.' He added thoughtfully, grinning. My face flushed and I looked at the television. 'It's late, want to stay over? It's weekend so I suppose it's okay~'

Kurogane nodded, and I smiled. 'Well, I'm going to take a shower. There is food in the fridge for If you get hungry.' I stood up and could swear I felt a hand slide over my thighs. I turned my head towards kurogane and stuck out my tongue towards him. I heard him chuckle and grabbed my pajama bottoms and decided to leave my shirt be, I bet Kurogane would like that. I snatched some underwear from the drawer in my room and walked towards the shower closing the door and locking it, not really trusting Kurogane.

I began to undress and looked at my scars in disgust. I stepped under the shower and my hand automatically reached for the knife in a drawer placed next to the shower cabin. Feeling empty now I didn't have Kurogane's presence to fill my heart up. I was surprised how fast I got addicted to him.

At the thought of Kurogane I paused in my movement. I can't cut. I promised.. I threw the knife back in the drawer and thought about the pain I had felt when Kurogane made the little cut in his skin. I washed myself, and tried to resist the temptation of the knife. But I knew Kurogane would be furious If he found out. I turned off the shower and grabbed a towel to dry myself off. I pulled on my pajama bottoms and looked at my arms again. My hands itched to cut them open. The pain in my chest became bigger when the face of my brother appeared before me. I cursed and looked in the mirror, I looked disgusted. I hated my body more than probably all the teenage girls together. This cursed body full of scars, and used by uncountable men. Some of them had been abusive, I'm not going to lie about that, I've been thrown and tossed around so much I could have sworn I lost feeling in some parts of my body. But when the feeling came back I was just as sensitive as before. I honestly hated myself. I stepped out of the bathroom and looked at Kurogane, still positioned on the couch. lazily lying there. I smiled, but the tugging feeling in my chest remained.

'That took ages' Kurogane complained, and I sat down next to him. I felt his eyes trail off to my chest and smirked slightly.

'I'm sorry~'

He grabbed my arms and examined them, probably looking for the new cuts he thought I made. Then he moved on to my legs and pulled the leg of my pants up.

He nodded and put my limbs back where they were earlier, I sighed in relief.

I yawned, and leaned against Kurogane's shoulder, and saw he put up a horror movie. I made myself comfortable on his chest and closed my eyes, listening to his heartbeat and regular breathing. I felt him put an arm around me and pull me close. I smiled and heard the screaming noises from the movie that was playing.

I felt myself sliding into sleep and after a while I felt myself moving, though I didn't know if I dreamt that or not.

But apparently I didn't, because the next morning I woke up in my bed. Sprawled over the bed and drooling a little bit. I heard Kurogane chuckle and kept my eyes closed. I felt his hand wipe away some drool on my face and kiss me softly, probably to wake me up.

I opened my eyes slowly and groaned in the kiss at the light, that penetrated my eyes.

'Good morning' Kurogane said amused. I grumbled something like 'morning' before sitting up and scratching my chest.

Kurogane's eyes travelled down my body, I saw him looking at my scars. I looked down in shame.

I realized it was the weekend, and cheered. 'It's weekend!' Kurogane chuckled and stood up from the bed walking to the kitchen.

'Do you have anything to eat?'

'Uhhh, I don't think I have anything suitable for your taste..' I heard Kurogane sniffle something. 'What is this stuff!?' I laughed.

'May I remind you I was not born here and am therefore a foreigner? Eating western food with knife and fork?'

'WHERE ARE THE GODDAMN CHOPSTICKS!?'

I chuckled and got up to fetch some unused chopsticks from the cupboard, 'I don't know if I have anything Japanese at home, but you can look through the kitchen. Maybe I still have some food from when Syoaran came over.' I said, making some toast for myself. 'Or you can eat toast also?' Kurogane snorted at the bread and started his search for food.

I ate slowly, not really having an appetite, just looking at Kurogane at some point, who was still searching for familiar food. He finally found some rice and sighed, deciding it was all he was going to find. Then he looked over at me, eying the toast. 'Did a mouse do that?' He asked, pointing at the tiny bites that were taken out of it. I shook my head, laughing.

'I'm not hungry' He raised one eyebrow. 'Is that all you eat in the morning?'

I nodded and he walked towards me. 'No wonder you're that skinny, sheesh.' I suddenly felt a little watched as I didn't wear a shirt and my ribs were quite visible. I didn't eat much lately, even less than before. Result of depression, probably.

I tried to cover my body by crossing my arms and laughing it off. 'Well, it's in the family.'

'Nice try, how much do you even eat?' I shrugged, not really knowing.

'I feel like I'm taking care of a little kid.' Kurogane threw his arms in the air frustrated.

I smiled apolitically, and walked up to hug him. He sighed and wrapped his arms around me.

'Eat more, will you?' I sighed. 'Okay.'

Kurogane looked at the little pile of rice and went to grab his clothes to put them on.

'Dress up, I'm taking you for lunch.' I smiled. 'Is Kuro-puu taking me on a date?' He growled and nodded.

I stood before my closet, trying to find something to wear. Kurogane walked into my room and watched me as I tried to find something suitable for a date. I felt like a love-struck teenage girl standing in front of my closet like this. I heard Kurogane sigh and push me aside a little, sniffling through my clothes. He quickly found something and pushed it in my arms.

I put it on and looked in the mirror, surprised that Kurogane actually had quite a good fashion sense. He had picked a sky blue button-down shirt that was just tight enough to show I was skinny, but not so tight to show I was unhealthy skinny. He also picked a pair of black jeans. I chuckled at it as I buttoned the shirt.

I turned back to Kurogane who was still standing in the corner.

'How do I look?' I said half laughing. He smirked approvingly. 'Almost, you did one thing wrong'. He walked up to me and unbuttoned the first two buttons, leaving my collar bones exposed. 'Where did you learn about fashion Kuro-wanwan?' He just said: 'Observation', and hit me with the closest thing within his reach. What was, unfortunately for me, a lamp.


	6. Chapter 6

Kurogane guided me through the city, we talked about how to act in public before. And decided it would be best not to draw attention so it now seemed that we were just two friends grabbing a bite to eat.

'It's not that crowded for a Saturday.' I noted, and Kurogane nodded. 'I'm glad.'

He halted at crossroads, 'Ramen or Sushi?' I immediately replied. 'Ramen'

I shivered at remembering Sushi.. The raw fish.. I heard Kurogane laugh and turn to the right.

He halted before a restaurant and took out a cigarette, Ignoring my disapproving look.

'Stop smoking would you?' I glared at the cigarette and snatched Kurogane his lighter out of his hand. 'If I have to stop my bad habit you have to do the same.' Kurogane looked at me thoughtfully. 'Let's discuss this later' he said while putting back the cigarette in the box and putting it away.

At that point two girls came up to us. They were dressed rather revealing.

'Hey!' One of the girls said.

I smiled just to be polite. 'Hello ladies, can we help you with something?'

They blushed and smiled. 'I wanted to ask if I could use your lighter for a second? Mine is empty.' She gestured to the lighter I still had in my hand. I blinked blankly for a few seconds and then turned my head to Kurogane. It was his lighter after all. He nodded and I smiled.

'Sure.' I gave the lighter to her and she bend over to grab her cigarette box from her bag that she had put on the ground. I looked away a little awkwardly since her breasts were practically falling out of her shirt. I felt Kurogane's eyes on me but ignored it.

When she came up again he held a cigarette and lit it with Kurogane's lighter, an then giving it back to me. Blowing a little bit of smoke in my face. I tried my best not to grimace at the smell because I thought of that as impolite.

'Are you guys going on a double date?' The other girl said, wavering her eyelashes around at us. Then It finally struck me they were flirting with us.

I looked over at Kurogane and we grinned at each other, then I turned to the girl before me.

'No..' I winked at her and she blushed. Kurogane knew what I was doing and he also grinned at the girl standing before him.

'You two sure are beautiful, too bad my date is waiting for me..'

'Huh.. Where is she?' The girls looked confused now.

'He's right there.' I gestured towards Kurogane. Who was just holding in his laughter.

The eyes of the girls widened. 'No way! You guys are… Gay…' I didn't know If they had anything against it or just mad they were fooled like this.

The girls ran away and we were left there laughing our asses off. We were lucky the street was empty.

'I haven't laughed so hard in ages' I said, slightly hiccupping from laughing. 'Did you see how she looked at you?' I asked Kurogane, who was catching his breath.

'Weren't you jealous?' He asked, still laughing.

'Oh, I was so jealous!' I joked back at him.

'Let's go inside' He said, after we both calmed down.

'A table for four?' The female waitress asked, and Kurogane shook his head. 'For two please.'

The waitress shot us a weird glance and pointed at a table next to the window for us to sit.

I sat down, draping my coat over my chair and chuckled at the candle that was lit on our table. 'How romantic ' I said cheerfully joking around as Kurogane sat down.

He chuckled at the candle as the waiter brought the menu's. 'Should I remove the candle for you?' She asked, Kurogane started nodding his head but I interrupted him. 'No it's okay, I like it. It's very cute.' Kurogane sighed and looked at me with something that looked like adoration, but it was Kurogane so I doubted it. Realization struck the Waitress and she smiled at us. 'Are you guys a couple?' we nodded and she smiled fondly.

'How nice! You guys are so cute together, let me know when you picked what you want to eat!' She walked away humming and I smiled at the first positive reaction that we got. 'She's nice.' I said and Kurogane nodded, staring at the menu, a little blush sprawled over his cheeks. 'Ohh Is Kuro-chin blushing because Onee-chan gave us a compliment?

He glared at me, but smiled. 'Just pick something to eat, blonde.' I grabbed the menu card and was completely clueless about what I should pick. 'It all looks the same..' I looked from up close and heard Kurogane laugh. 'Then just pick the same as I do.' I nodded. 'Okay'

The waitress came to our table again and Kurogane ordered the food.

I examined the chopsticks and wondered how you could eat with two wooden sticks glued to each other. We talked a bit until the food arrived and Kurogane smiled at my amazed face.

'Itatakimasu.' He said, and grabbed The wooden sticks and ripped them apart from each other. I copied his movements and tried eating but it just fell from between my chopsticks.

Kurogane watched me struggle for a while and then sighed.

'You have to hold them like this.' He said while holding his hand up for me to see. I tried to copy it and failed. 'This is so hard..' Kurogane sighed and stood up to walk to my side of the table and grabbed my hand to put the chopsticks in the right place, his breath tickled in my neck, and I got distracted from his lecture about chopstick use. He noticed and grinned, but moving back a little so he could explain it properly. When I finally got it he sat down again and I took my first bite. I think my face looked like an explosion of the rainbow or something because it was just so delicious I could twirl around the room.

I heard him chuckle and I looked up. 'I didn't know Japanese food was this delicious!'

'It's because you never tried.' He said, munching on a piece of meat

We were done eating around three 'o clock when I realized I had to go to the hospital today for a checkup. I told Kurogane and he said he would go with me.

I smiled brightly and when we stepped outside I kissed him on the lips briefly.

'Thank you '

He smiled and started to walk to the hospital.

When we arrived I waited for my doctor in the waiting room together with Kurogane, he arrived shortly and I followed him into the room where he did the checkups, asking Kurogane to wait there.

'have you felt any sickness, dizziness, or pain in your lower areas?' The doctor asked me and I shook my head. He continued asking questions and listened to my heart and lungs.

When he was done I looked at him questioningly. He smiled and spoke: 'I consider you fully healed!' I cheered, and the doctor his voice turned serious again. 'But.. I want you to see someone for this.' He said as he held up my arm, full of cuts and scars. 'I nodded and lowered my head. 'I will mail you the information, now go and have fun with your boyfriend.' I looked up, surprised he knew. He winked at me and I walked back to the waiting room.

Kurogane stood up to meet me halfway of the room. 'And?'

'I'm cured!' I said cheerfully and a smile spread across Kurogane his face and he hugged me tightly. I relaxed inside his strong arms and rested my head on his chest.

'Now that I think of It, I have never seen your house.' I said thoughtfully.

'With other words, you want to see it now.' He said, chuckling. I nodded cheerfully and we took the bus to his house.

We arrived before large flat. 'I live in an apartment on the third floor'

I nodded and followed him upstairs, he opened the door and walked in after me.

It was very small, only existing out of three rooms, a very small kitchen, a very small bathroom, and a living room and bedroom combined. He had a two persons bed and a lot of books, a samurai sword was standing against the wall on the left next to his bed. He had a small television and a closet. Somehow I fell in love with the place.

'It's lovely.' I said, adored by the little figurines of dragons on a bookshelf that was not filled with books.

'Don't lie.' Kurogane said. 'I'm serious! It's adorable!' I said, and kurogane smiled.

'You live alone?' I asked, noticing all the stuff was his.

'Parents are dead.' He said plainly. I looked up surprised. 'You never told me.'

'It isn't that important, it happened long ago.'

'That doesn't mean it isn't important anymore.' I said as I turned around to look at my boyfriend. He shrugged and sat down on the bed.

I sighed and sat down next to him. 'Kurogane?'

'Hmm?'

'When did you start liking me?' Kurogane looked at his wall for a while, thinking.

'When I saw you lying on the ground screaming from the pain in the classroom and I pressed my lips on yours to give you CPR, does that make sense?' I laughed, blushing a little.

'No.'

'What about you then?' He asked, smirking when seeing my blush.

'Probably when I woke up in the hospital and discovering you sat at my bedside for ten hours straight, could have been sooner though.'

He blushed a little, but tried to hide it by fake coughing. 'You knew that?'

'The nurse told me.'

Kurogane turned on the TV and looked at it awkwardly. I laughed and leaned in to kiss his cheek, but he turned his head so my lips landed on his. I let out a little sound of surprise, but recovered soon enough and closed my eyes. Kissing him back. 'Kurogane.. I need to go soon..' I said, a little muffled since Kurogane was still kissing me. I heard him grunt and he pulled back. 'What are you going to do tomorrow?' He said thoughtful as he was looking at his calendar. 'Uhm.. I am gone the whole day, why?' Kurogane nodded and grinned.

'Okay, see you tomorrow evening then, make sure to be home by seven' I narrowed my eyes with curiosity.

'What are you planning..?'

'You'll see.'


	7. Chapter 7

The next day at my job (I worked in a gift shop on the Sundays, since I wasn't a whore anymore and still needed to pay the rent and pay back Kurogane) I couldn't concentrate very well. I was thinking about what Kurogane was doing.

When I was done I texted Kurogane and hurried home.

When I arrived at home I heard voices coming from inside the house and I wondered how Kurogane got inside.

I opened the door, 'I'm home'

'HAPPY BIRTHDAY!' Everyone in the room cheered, I just stood there dumbfounded, wondering how I could forget my own birthday.

'Kurogane.. Syoaran.. Sakura.. Watanuki, Doumeki, Himawari..'

I resisted the urge to cry of happiness and smiled. 'Thank you!'

I hugged everyone and kissed Kurogane, everyone had probably figured it out anyway.

Sakura got the cake and carried it to the living room carefully as I sat down on the couch next to Kurogane. 'Make a wish' Kurogane whispered in my ear.

I blew out all the candles in one swift blow and wished for my brother to be in a good place, and I also wished that Kurogane could be with me for a long long time.

Everyone clapped and I plucked out the candles. I saw everyone grin a little and I wondered what they were planning.

Then I felt my face being pushed inside the cake, I came back up to see Kurogane was the one who pushed my face inside it. I wanted to have my sweet revenge but then everyone began throwing cake at me and in my clothes. I looked like a huge human cake in the end. I laughed paused for some photos before I went to clean myself up a little. I didn't notice Kurogane following me until I felt a hand helping me clean my hair. 'Kuro-puu was so mean, pushing my face in the cake!' I said laughing and Kurogane splashed a little of water in my face. 'Call me Kurogane.' He said, trying to sound angry but he was laughing at all the cake.

Then I felt him take my arm and lick my neck. 'I really like chocolate cake..' He just said while continuing to lick the cake off my neck and face. My face was so hot that I could have sworn I was melting the cake. 'Kurogane.. I don't think this is the best time..' My sentence died away and turned into a soft moan when he began sucking on my neck.

Then we heard a cough come from behind us and there stood a slightly flushed Watanuki.

'I didn't mean to interrupt.. But uhm..'

I stepped away from Kurogane and smiled, my face still very flushed. 'We're coming.'

Watanuki rushed back to the living room and I cleaned the last bit of cake from my arms, leaving the rest that was still inside my clothes for Kurogane later tonight.

We came back and everyone was holding a glass of champagne, me and Kurogane picked one too.

'To Fai!' Syoaran said, and everyone followed. I smiled as everyone drank of their champagne and just chattered. Watanuki had put some music in the cd-player and random music flooded the room. Kurogane was talking to Doumeki about something while I and Watanuki stood next to each other a little awkwardly. 'I don't think I will ever get that image out of my head when I see you.' He said, chuckling. 'Neither will I get that image of you and Doumeki in the locker room..' Watanuki's head snapped up and a blush spread across his face. 'Oh..'

'Doesn't matter, I knew from the beginning.'

Watanuki laughed and I joined in. 'I think the only one of us who isn't gay is Syoaran.' Watanuki said pushing his glasses up his nose. I nodded in agreement and poured Watanuki some more champagne.

'Do you want me drunk?' He said laughing. 'I'm not that good with alcohol like you, Doumeki will take advantage of it.' He looked at Doumeki, who was an experienced drinker.

'That is good, right?' I said, teasing him. He smiled. 'I suppose so, but I'd rather remember.'

'Makes sense.'

'Okay everybody! Time for spin the bottle!' to my surprise it was Sakura who thought of that.

We went to sit in a circle, and Sakura put a bucket with papers next to her.

'Okay, I will draw a paper and say what is on it, and then we spin the bottle, the one who it points to has to do the thing that is on the paper. If it involves two persons then we spin the bottle two times.'

'Also, I want to know of the ones in a relationship that they don't mind if their partner kisses someone else.' Syoaran said, looking at everyone. I looked at Kurogane. 'It's okay, I know you're mine. That's all that matters.' I smiled and nodded. The same thing was shared between Watanuki and Doumeki and Syoaran and Sakura.

Everyone nodded in understanding and Sakura picked the first paper.

'Two persons must kiss for ten seconds.' She read out loud.

She spun the bottle and it landed on me. 'Wooo ' I teasingly cheered. I spun the bottle and watched as it slowed down and almost landed on Kurogane, but shove further. And landed on Watanuki. Everyone whistled and laughed. We were the most ridiculous pairing you could think of. I also laughed and leaned towards Watanuki, whose lips met mine halfway.

We kissed each other, and I noticed he smelled like cherry blossom. After ten seconds we pulled back and everyone clapped. Sakura pulled out another paper. 'the person the bottle lands on must take off a piece of clothing.' I whistled and watched as Sakura spun the bottle. It landed on Syoaran. He laughed and took off his shirt.

Sakura was just slightly staring at Syoaran's chest and coughed a little when she recovered. I had this idea that me, Kurogane, Watanuki and Doumeki were not the only ones who were going to have sex afterwards.

She pulled another paper. 'Two persons must kiss each other for ten seconds.' It was the same. She spun the bottle and It landed on Kurogane, then he spun the bottle and it went past me and landed on Doumeki. I whistled and watched them kiss. The battle between dominance was amusing to see. Did Kurogane also look this hot when he was kissing me?

The next paper read: 'The person that the bottle lands on may kiss a person of choice for thirty seconds. With tongue!'

Sakura spun the bottle and it landed on me. I cheered and looked around. Kurogane had this really cocky grin, so to tease him I looked like I was thinking very hard who to choose and then I slowly pointed my finger at Syoaran, but lowered my finger laughing when I saw Kurogane's face. 'Just kidding! Of course it's you, idiot.' I said to Kurogane and kissed him, slipping my tongue inside his mouth, meeting his tongue. We just kissed for thirty seconds, keeping it as light as possible for a French kiss. Because I was afraid I was not able to control myself otherwise.

We played this game for a while, and then went back to dancing and talking.

A slow song came on and I dragged Kurogane off the couch and put my arms around his neck. He sighed and grabbed hold of my waist and swayed on the slow music together with me. I stepped closer and put my head on his chest, still dancing. I saw Watanuki and Doumeki dance too. The only ones who weren't dancing were Syoaran and Sakura. Who had a great time just sitting on the couch talking.

Something before twelve at night Kurogane turned off the music and everybody took their leave. I hugged them all and waved them off. Then I closed the door and let myself fall on the couch next to Kurogane. 'That was really awesome.. Thank you Kurogane.'

He laughed and poured us some more champagne. 'Are you trying to get me drunk?' I asked him while I took a sip of my alcohol.

'Maybe.' He said smirking. 'You know it's not going to work, I hold my alcohol like a horse.'

He laughed at that comment and gulped his champagne. 'You laugh a lot more lately' I noted.

'It's because you piss me off that much.'

'That doesn't make sense.'

'I know.'

I shifted a little to put my glass away, finally noticing I was all sticky. 'There is still a lot of cake everywhere..' I said, having forgotten my intentions to leave it there.

Kurogane smirked and I looked at him questioningly while he put his glass away and pushed me down on the couch. 'K-Kurogane..?'

'You said there was still cake on you right? I'll help you clean it, undress will you?' I blushed and did as he said, pulling off my shirt, then my pants. And sitting there, wondering if I should also take my underwear off or not. 'I would be surprised if there wasn't any in your underwear. I put it there myself.' Kurogane said, and I remembered him grabbing my pants to throw some cake in it, he had also grabbed my underwear by accident. Or at least, I thought it was an accident until now. He had planned this all along.

I smirked and pulled my underwear off slowly. And lying back down on the couch.

'Then start cleaning ' I said seductively. He grinned and started licking my stomach, I laughed softly, even though it was only to cover up my moan.

When he was done with my stomach that was not coated in salvia, he moved on to my chest. He began licking my nipple and I moaned. 'There was no cake there..' Even though I didn't care for the cake. 'You don't seem to mind' He just said, smirking and moving on to my other nipple. Playfully twisting it with his tongue. His hand was rubbing my stomach and his other hand was on my thigh, keeping me in place. A rather erotic moan escaped my mouth. He moved up and kissed me while rubbing the bulge in his pants against my bare erection. Which I now noticed I had. I sucked on his tongue, making a moan escape his mouth.

Oh god, I could have come just from that moan.

I don't think I have ever felt so good in my life, and I wanted more of it. I wanted more of him. I began tugging at his clothes, desperately trying to get them off. Kurogane smirked at my rather pathetic position. He took his shirt off and tossed it aside. I could drool just from looking at his chest. I pulled him closer until our torso's touched and panted in his ear. 'Fucking sexy beast that you are..' Then I realized he still had his pants on and it must be uncomfortable. I sat up and began taking his pants off. 'Must be uncomfortable..' I said when I got the pants off I almost literally attacked his underwear like it was the evilest thing in the world. I heard him chuckle, and decided it was time to make him show me his submissive side. I pushed him down and kissed the head of his erection, then I started to lick. Until I heard moans coming from him. Then I started sucking and his moans got louder. I felt him twitch and shiver underneath me. 'Does it feel good?' I asked teasingly.

I heard him growl, but it was less powerful than normally. Then I decided to stop, just to annoy him. I wiped away some salvia from my mouth and smirked at the mess underneath me. It was a new thing seeing him like this, and I knew he would recover soon enough.

He stood up and picked me up bridal style, carrying me to my bed and throwing me on it.

'Condoms, Lotion, where?' He asked, panting a little. I pointed at the cupboard and he took a condom and lotion out of it. I positioned myself as he put a condom on and coated his fingers with lotion before pushing them inside me. I moaned and pulled him close to me. 'Forget the fingers.. Fuck me, please.' Kurogane smirked and kissed me heatedly while coating his erection with lotion before positioning himself before me and pushing himself inside of me. He began thrusting himself into me, searching for the spot that would make me beg for more. And he found it. I cried out because of the intense pleasure and he moaned. He continued to thrust into me as he sucked on my neck after I threw my head back.

Our moans turned into screams and as I grew closer to my orgasm Kurogane flipped me around so he could get deeper into me. His nails pressed into my hips as he pounded into me. 'Kurogane!' It was a mixture of a moan and a cry of pleasure as I came all over my chest and the bed. Because of the tightening up of my walls as I came, he was sent over the edge as well, he moaned my name and pulled out of me and pulled the condom off as he came, so his cum was splattered all over me. He fell on top of me and kissed my forehead.

'I love you.' I said sleepily, nuzzling into his chest. I just heard his 'I love you too' vaguely before I fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning I woke up on the ground, with the blanket next to me. I moved up sleepily and looked over to Kurogane. He was so beautiful, even when he was all covered in cum and dried sweat. I chuckled and nudged him awake. 'Kuro-puu, we need to shower.'

He sat up rubbing his eyes and nodded in understanding at seeing the mess.

I looked at the clock and my eyes widened. 'OH MY GOD KUROGANE, SCHOOL!' We had an half hour to get ready for school. I quickly grabbed some clothes and rushed to the bathroom. Followed by Kurogane. We quickly showered and dressed ourselves, and then rushed to school.

When we arrived we were just on time to rush into the classroom. I wasn't surprised to see Doumeki and Watanuki in the same shape as we were, even though Watanuki looked a little worse than I did. I sat down next to him while Kurogane sat down next to Doumeki. 'Rough night?' I said teasingly and Watanuki chuckled. 'Yeah, I feel like I can't stand up.' I laughed. I didn't have that anymore since I used to have sex on daily basis. I patted his shoulder. 'It will get better' He blushed a little and nodded. 'What about you then? No sore butt?' He teased. I shook my head, 'Nope ' Watanuki puffed his cheeks slightly, what was very unlike him. Maybe it was the haze from the sex or something. I and Doumeki switched places so I was back next to Kurogane again. Then I thought of something. 'Kurogane.. The funeral of my brother is in two days.. I would like you to come.' He nodded. I hated funerals, they were horrible.

I stood alongside Ashura, a childhood friend of me and Yuui. He was the only other person still alive that had known my brother very well and visited once in a while when my brother had it rough. We shook the hands of the people attending, far away relatives, old friends of my parents, etc. They didn't know Yuui, at last there was Kurogane. I hugged him in grief and was barely able to smile at how neat he looked with his suit on.

He shook Ashura his hand and sat down in the front row. Next to where I was going to be sitting. I had been able to look at my brother his face one more time before they had closed the coffin. It now stood on the platform in front of all the chairs.

At last I also sat down together with Ashura and grabbed Kurogane's hand.

The priest spoke about my brother like he knew him, like he had been there and knew exactly what my brother believed him. My parents had been Christian, but both me and my brother had never been. Even though, my parents had insisted that their children would be buried in the church. Even If we'd rather not. Yuui had never believed in heaven as the priest described it, and I and Ashura looked at each other in understanding. I squeezed into Kurogane's hand before I stood up, because I had to speak. I prepared my speech beforehand, and dug up the piece of paper out of my pocket while I rose from my seat. I took my place and turned to the people sitting in the room.

'My brother was a wonderful person, when we were small, we used to play outside in the snow all the time, because we used to live way up north, where there was always snow. One time, I sank trough the thin ice of a lake, getting my leg stuck in there. I told him to run, I told him to get off the ice and leave me behind. But he refused to. He helped me out even if it could have cost his life.

When our parents died, we were send to friends of my parents, who were living in Japan. It was us against the world. It always has been, but when my brother did not return from the surgery room. I thought: Then.. I suppose it's me against the world now. I have done terrible things to be able to make sure my brother could leave the hospital and live his life to the fullest.' I took a deep, shaky breath. Trying to make sure the tears stayed back. 'I thought it'd be the end for me also, because I could not imagine a world without my brother, but now I know I have people who care for me. One of them sitting in the front row here.' I smiled at Kurogane before continuing my speech. 'I know my brother will always be with me in my head, and when the memories start to blur.. He will sink down into my heart, where the feeling of him in my arms will nestle itself, and stay there.' I hurried back to my seat before I could start crying. Kurogane laid his hand in the crook of my neck to stroke my skin there. A tear rolled down my cheek and I shifted closer to Kurogane.

Then it was Ashura's turn to speak. He walked up to the platform and started talking about how he and Yuui became friends, and how sad he was when they told him he had passed.

The priest called me forward and I and Ashura lit a candle together. He squeezed my hand softly as we held the match together.

Then everybody got up and shook my hand again. I and Kurogane rode off to the graveyard in Ashura's car and by the time we got there I was sobbing in Kurogane's shirt.

He said nothing as he stroked my hair tenderly.

As I stood there, seeing the body of my brother being lowered into the ground, throwing rose petals onto the coffin as it was sinking, It dawned on me I was never going to see him again. I thought it before so many times since his death, but actually seeing my brother being buried. I was never going to see his face again, not even his dead face surrounded with flowers. He was gone, and no matter how long he still was inside my heart or head. He would never be in my arms anymore, we would never have hour long conversations anymore. Tears streamed down my face as I threw the rest of the petals into the grave and threw myself into Kurogane's arms. My other half was forever gone. And every time I will look in the mirror I will be reminded of him, I will think it his him. And then I notice it isn't him, it's me.

Kurogane held me in his arms, and I felt a few warm drops fall onto my head.

'Stay with me Kurogane.. Please..' I sobbed into his shirt and he just nodded, pressing me against him. I also heard Ashura cry next to us. And everyone started walking back to their cars, to go to the place where we'll be sitting together and drinking coffee just being sad. I hated this part the most of all.

I sat down on the couch there, and talked to some people. The same story every time.

'Your speech was very beautiful, it really inspired me!' Some old friend from my parents said. 'Thank you! I worked very hard on it' He finally drooped off and I rested my head on Kurogane his shoulder.

'I'm tired..' He sighed and nodded, 'Me too, but you need to sit through this.' Ashura sat down on the other side of me, I lifted my head and smiled at the familiar face. He had black straight hair reaching to a little past his shoulders, and a kind smile. I just now realized I had missed him very much since the last time I saw him in the country of Celes. 'Have you come all the way from Celes just to attend the funeral?' I asked him.

'No, I have moved to Japan a while ago.' My eyes widened a little. 'Why?'

'I wanted to study Japanese art history, so I moved here. I'm sorry for not contacting you before, but I am very busy at a daily bases. I did visit Yuui a few times.' I nodded. 'Sounds very nice, you should come over sometime. When you have time.' Ashura smiled. 'I will, so I assume your friend here is Kurogane?' Kurogane nodded and shook Ashura's hand. 'He's my boyfriend, actually. But I thought it would cause a bit of a.. commotion, to mention that in a church.' Ashura looked surprised.

'That's so nice! You guys fit together very well!' I smiled. 'Thank you.'

Kurogane looked content with the compliment. I noticed the time and sighed in relief.

'Dear people, this funeral is now over. Thank you all for coming, and sharing this sad day with us.'

I hugged Ashura goodbye, and to my surprise he kissed me on my cheek. 'I hope to see you soon Fai, on a less sad day than this one.' And with that he disappeared into his car and drove away. I heard Kurogane growl next to me. 'Is Kuro-puu jealous?' I said, but I couldn't bring myself to smile. Which kind of ruined the playfulness in the question. Kurogane sighed and draped one arm across my shoulders, guiding me home.

THE END

(-ish, there is an epilogue! )


	9. Chapter 9

**Last chapter everyone.. ;A; **

**I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did! **

**Love you all~!**

'Kuro-puu! May I remind you that I also need to shower!' I sighed and sat down after knocking on the bathroom door. I heard a growl come from the shower and a smile crept up my mouth.

It has been two months since I and Kurogane moved in together. We managed to find a nice house just outside the city. We had graduated from high school a few years ago, I was now studying literature, while Kurogane was following a study to become a high school sports teacher. I turned 22 last week and Kurogane was now 23.

I was quite content with our lives at the moment. Even though he always wanted to shower first, and took ages to do it. I looked at my wrists, the scars were still there. Even if they were faded. But there was no new cut to be seen anywhere. It was going dark outside and I sighed, if he wouldn't hurry up I had to take a shower in the morning, which I hated. 'That's it. I'm joining you.' I said and knocked on the bathroom door. 'Open up!' The door opened and I stepped inside, stripping off my clothes and shoving aside the shower curtain to step under the hot shower next to Kurogane. 'Oi!'

'You were too slow, showering together is better for the environment anyway.' I said, smirking at Kurogane. He sighed, and grabbed the soap. 'At least let me clean you then.' He said smirking.

I blushed and nodded. He covered me in soap, before he lowered to sit on his knees. He washed the soap off my lower areas and let the water splatter on my now hardening member. Before he took me in his mouth and started sucking. I moaned, gripping his hair, when wet actually pretty long.

He slipped his finger inside me and I gasped, 'Oh god, Kurogane..' He began fastening his movements until I started trembling and twitching. With a few hard strokes I was sent over the edge and I cried out, a white haze covering my sight. I slumped back against the wall as the white dots cleared from my view.

Kurogane stood up straight again and I saw he was hard. Well, It would only be nice to give him a hand with that.

Later that evening we sat on the couch together cosily.

'I love you' I said, stroking Kurogane's wet hair tenderly, he smiled. 'I love you too.' He said, but he appeared a little nervous.

'Is something wrong?' I asked, watching him shift around on the couch a little.

'No.. but I've been meaning to ask you something..' I looked at him questioningly as he got up.

He sat down on one knee, other leg in front of him, my heart leaped.

'No way..'

'Fai D Fluorite.. Will you marry me?'

I leaped in his arms, I think I never felt that happy before.

'YES! Of course I will!' I felt him relax, and he kissed me tenderly.

'I know it's not the best proposal.. But you know I'm not really..' I cut him off with a kiss. 'It's all I could ask for.' I hugged him again, and from there we started arranging.

I was very nervous, I hadn't seen Kurogane tonight and today. Because we had to be separated before the wedding. I and Kurogane didn't mind if it was just a simple wedding in the governments building, but Ashura, of all people insisted we should at least hold a proper wedding. So because of that we were getting married in Doumeki's shrine. I was wearing a deep blue suit with a black tie while Kurogane was wearing a black one with a deep blue tie. This was something Sakura thought off.

Ashura was my best man while Syoaran was Kurogane's best man. I had asked Watanuki to be the ring holder. I heard from Doumeki he was also planning his proposal.

Ashura nudged me out of my thoughts as I entered the shrine, I saw that Kurogane was already standing there, He was beautiful as always. The priest that was going to marry us was standing in place too. I had invited all my and Kurogane's friends, and of course relatives. I took halt next to Kurogane and the priest began his talk, and when he was done he asked me: 'Do you take this man as your lawful husband?'

I looked into Kurogane's eyes and remembered when he first entered the classroom, and where we are standing now.

'Yes.'

The man turned to Kurogane.

'Do you take this man as your lawful husband?'

'Yes, with all my heart.'

I resisted the urge to chuckle, I'm sure Ashura said that saying it like that was more romantic. Kurogane would never come up with that himself. But it didn't matter to me, I knew he meant it.

'I now declare you, husband, and husband. You may kiss the husband.'

Kurogane pulled me close to him and kissed me on the lips tenderly. And then everyone was clapping. I was the one that was holding the bouquet, and threw it towards my Physiologist, Yuuko. She caught it and blew a hand kiss in my direction. I laughed and returned it, then I turned to Kurogane and kissed him once more. 'Now you're officially my man.'

'I always have been though.'


End file.
